What is Love Without Respect

Imagine what it'd be like to be on the road. Soft music is humming through the speakers and you feel an energy of expansiveness and flowy freedom. The speed limit sign reads 65 miles per hour and you are driving roughly 75. Now, the sign shares the city's desire for how fast they want you to go. If their desire is crossed there are consequences. You might get a ticket. If you have enough tickets you might get called into court. My point in this story is not about honoring the speed limit but, about honoring others. 

Someone expressing their desire and voicing their boundary is a motion to continue the connection, not end the relationship.

We've heard it said, all you need is love. Movies, TV shows, and books have all described the fanciful whimsy of delicious, warm love, but is it purely just romance? Is it a candlelight dinner for two? Is love merely a man assisting his wife through childbirth? Is it telling a woman you've chosen her as you drive away into the distance never to meet again? Love without respect is empty, just as a rose without water will wither. There I said it. 

I look back and cringe at all that I tolerated. I'm choosing not to reflect on it now because I respect myself so I will not voice it publicly. If I've worked through it, processed it, learned from it, and healed through it there is no need to address it now. 

One of the expansive lessons I've gotten to learn is this, when you respect yourself you are allowing people to see what you will and won't accept. When you respect yourself people are invited to respect you as well. Either they come right by honoring your boundaries or you get to uninvite them.

You're time, your presence, and your energy are a gift. If people treat you in ways that hurt, disrespect, neglect, dishonor, or cut you down you have every right to say goodbye. "No" is a full sentence and you get to walk away from people or environments that dishonor you. Yes, your departure may hurt those you once were close to, but are you hurting yourself by staying in those connections? Your energy is not for others, it's for you. Yes, you can choose to share your glow and vibrancy, but that is your choice. You get to choose who and what you want in your life and anyone who has a problem with that can escort themselves out.

You are a radiant and gorgeous miracle. Please, don't let anyone treat you as less than divine. God loves you. Please only choose partnerships and friendships that treat you with the kind of consideration you'd want for your inner child.

Most warmly,

Jennifer